Angry, Hurt, Frustrated Wives and Girlfriends (I will NOT confirm or deny I’ve seen anyone. However, if you send me an email with YOUR man’s contact information, I will put him on my block list.)
First, I would like to say that I am sorry you are reading this. I have been in your shoes and can honestly say I know exactly how you feel. Horrible. Men don’t seem to understand that physical cheating isn’t the part that hurts us most. It’s the lying.
So I am going to be 100% honest with you.
About 60-65% of the gentlemen I see are married or in an otherwise committed relationship. I have asked every single one of them why they are cheating. The answer I get most often will make you want to choke them. “I just want to be with someone different sometimes.”
They say…“I love her more than anything! I would never want to hurt her or our family. She’s beautiful! Our sex life is great! But, I just want to have the experience of being with another woman.”
Men are wired differently than we are. I can prove it!
Think about the last really hot guy you laid eyes on. Now go to my rates page and tell me if you would donate that many roses to spend time with him. Did you stop and think about a cute pair of shoes you’d rather have or maybe something practical? Now stop and think if you would risk hurting your relationship to be with that hot guy for an hour. Okay, today probably isn’t the best day to ask that question, lol. But, on other days your answer would probably be “No”. They have different priorities than we do.
Men tell me that they don’t want to cheat. They often find it inconvenient to need to scratch this itch. I speculate that testosterone levels may play a role based on comments they’ve made and some of my own personal experiences. Maybe it’s nature’s way of diversifying the gene pool. But, being with multiple partners is something men seem to be compelled to do. Before you holler “B.S.”, please refer to my rates page again.
As infuriating as all of this honest information is, I’d like to offer you a seemingly more infuriating solution….Let him cheat.
This solution would obviously benefit someone in my position. This is not, however, a sales pitch. I’ve been very happily married for 17 years. I let my husband date other women off and on over our entire marriage. He jokes that I took the fun out of cheating, which it kind of did, lol. I always knew the women he saw on some level. They knew who I was, respected me and liked me. Some people refer to this lifestyle as polyamory. I just always thought it was honest and pragmatic. I know I’m number one in my husband’s world. I always have been. You are probably number one in your man’s world too.
He just wants to have the experience of being with another woman. ***Rolls Eyes***
Letting him see a woman like me may seem like a horrible idea. I’ve been there, too. My hubby saw providers long before I ever considered being one. I was worried “those” kinds of women would be crazy or unclean. That doesn’t have to be the case at all. Especially, if YOU help him pick the girl. (; A provider isn’t going to cause complications in your life the way an acquaintance or coworker might. And, men who aren’t looking for primary partners don’t have a lot of dating options to begin with.
Nothing I’ve said has been meant to minimize your pain, anger and frustration. You have every right to be mad as hell. You have been betrayed by someone you love and once trusted. But, if you’re not really going to pack your bags, like you should, maybe taking this approach would make you feel more in control than you do now.
You’ll have time to think it over while you’re shopping. He told me he wants you to buy cute shoes until you feel better :D